How to build better relationships at work - Put away the Do Not Disturb Signals!

If someone comes to see you at work, what message do they get from your non verbal communication?

Do they see this?

Maybe that is too polite?

Did you know that the way that you communicate with people is made up from 7% of what you say and the rest is how you say it and what your body language is saying?

I often find it amusing when I meet with people in a professional capacity when some of them say in 'I am excited to meet you', which sounds lovely, but when mixed with body language that emits a different emotion the message is all but excited.

We live in a world now whereby, we have information (aka distractions) being thrown at us.  Many people spend a lot of their time of the day staring at a number of different sized screens and increasingly this happens in business meetings.

I once attended a networking meeting where the guy giving the opening speech was standing at the front and then after handing over to his partner, showed how interested he was in being there by playing with his smart watch.  His focus was somewhere else and very obvious, right at the front of the talk!

Have you ever had a conversation with someone who is talking to you whilst doing something on their mobile phone?  Ever got the sense that their minds are elsewhere?

So how much do you allow yourself to be distracted when engaging with colleagues or customers?  How do you think that your conversation partner is feeling when all your non verbals are saying that you are not present, not focusing on what is being said?

If we allow ourselves to get distracted, how can we hope to build good relationships with colleagues?
This behaviour puts you into a disadvantaged position within the work place.  If you are not focusing on colleagues then you might be missing their non verbal signals about how they feel about you or what you are talking about.  Miss them at your peril as you will need them to understand what motivates your colleagues and managers into the change that you might be wanting to make.

So my advice?  In one to one meetings turn off the mobile, even if your conversation partner doesn't. You will learn so much about them if you are not distracted.